(A satire based on Edward Lear's poem "Father William")
"You are old, Aunty Mary," the young lady said,
"And your hair has been dyed very black;
Yet you watch every serial till it's time for bed-
Do you think at your age it is right?"
"In my youth," Aunty Mary replied to her niece,
"I thought it might help the brain;
But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again & again."
"You are old," said the niece, "as I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you lithely carried 10 bags of clothes from the shops-
Pray, what is the reason for that?"
"In my youth," she said with her perfect-white false teeth,
"I kept all my limbs very supple
By beating my husband daily with the broom.
We certainly were an outstanding couple!"
"You are old," said the niece, "and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than soup,
Yet you finished the chicken, with the bones & the beak-
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"
"In my youth," said the aunt, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my relatives,
And the muscular strenght it gave my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."
"You are old," said the niece, "I would hardly suppose
That your hand would be as steady as ever.
Yet you line your eyes and powder your nose -
How are you so awfully clever?"
"I have answered three questions and that is enough
Said the aunt, "Only questions & no compliments!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you over the fence."
