Posts

Showing posts from 2015

Finding the Elusive

Image
I believed the ever-elusive happiness would find me when I would receive the mum-in-law’s love, a love that would desperately replace the searing ache I felt when I heard the words Mother’s love. I hoped to finally be cherished you see by someone who would see more than just faults and defects and a table to unburden load upon. I hoped they would see my warmth and recognize the depths of my passion and proudly highlight my achievements instead of disapproving glances. And when this didn’t happen I lost all  hope. And that’s when While wallowing in my misery with the force of a butterfly wing you nudged me and then encased me in the whirwind of your love, my beloved, my paramour, my all – my divine. It was you I had wanted and needed all those years ago and still do. My mine. 

Her Own Person

Image
Misfit misjudged abandoned sent away cornered raped left to die, she fought back with every broken bone till she could heal enough to stand on 2 legs and become her own person: SHE.

A-tempting Fate

Image
With faces of stone Seated comfortably where they are Like Ganapati and Siva They declare fates And we the hapless people Are forced to run in circles As per their dictums and laws That make sense alone In a universe they alone know of Till either our backs or our brains Give in And we too join the long que Of those awaiting their fate.

Retreating to the hills

Image
     Vagamon was not one of those trips I was sure would happen but it did, and it left me with a sense of achievement. This was my first long drive as the sole driver and I am proud to say I completed it with not so much as a scratch on my Asta. The days spend at the Kurisumala Ashram would make the trip more than worthwhile.       We left Kottayam by about 11 a.m. Asta had 3 passengers on board – me, my friend and her daughter.  The drive was pretty straightforward with few complications on the road. The roads were pretty good for Indian standards except in a few places and there were ample signboards indicating we were on the right track. We drove via Ettumanoor to Pala and from there took a turning towards Eratupetta. At Erattupetta I must warn drivers to be careful because the roads are bad, but more than that the drivers I came across were rather reckless. We took a slight deviation at ----- accidentally but saved a kilometre in driving an...

All beefed up

Image
We argue debate bicker dispute whether the man ate beef – or not whether those literary awards should have been returned and had they really deserved them at all. We talk about freedom being infringed; conduct debates on national media. The people responsible fly worldwide meanwhile and propagate other ideas for developing India while the hungry and poor drop dead like flies. (A comment on the recent murder in Dadri)

Bend, Broken

Image
At first glance simply an old large cane. On close examination I could see scars from the beatings, life had given it and discoloured spots from years of indiscriminate use. It had been bend from the force of people trying to break it into two yet it still hadn’t broken at least until now because now I could see a crack down the middle- someone had at last succeeded in giving it that final blow.

Nightmares of the New Night time Driver

Image
Glossy roads from heavy rains Car lights that poke you in the eye Men that cross the road for you to hit them Tottering drunkards all Hamlet- like Wannabe drunkards who park in d middle of the lane  Bikes overtaking u from both sides Buses that insist they scrape u as a gift Potholes that appear from  nowhere - to cross or not to cross so they can grab th eir night bottles Cars that decide to rush before you  as soon as you try to get on the main road What wonderful Indian roads!

The Wild One

Image
She wanders like a gypsy her heart firmly planted in the loins of the earth her spirit soaring through the wind like a Sufi dancer in a trance her smile as bright as the sun she faces her clothes as brightly-hued as the Amazon forests her hair, mangled with joy, tears and freedom her mind – soaring in the heaven she sought all these years. That’s the gypsy I found in me.

Body Shop Sale

My body -the one I was born in - is not my own. Women decide what it should be draped in. My husband decides when it must submit to his will. So when I speak about my not-my-body body I say: Caters to all your whims and fancies. In the colour and style of your choice. Also can be tailor-made to suit your requirements. Available for sale by marriage. Will easily support your entire family & children too. Free maid service for a lifetime. Only maintenance charges to be paid. And easily disposable after validity. Make it yours today - My not-my-body body.

When things change

Image
That movement in the corner that was her weaving her cocoon of forgetfulness in nondescript white enshrouding her till a shaft of light poked a hole right through and then another  and then another. The cocoon fell apart. She gazed in wonder at the surrounding light and the tears began to flow because the light had been the kindness of remembrance the kindness of a stranger the kindness she thought she had long lost. (I recently experienced a week of kindness from various quarters and this is the result)

Classroom Drama

Image
(Written after a few supervision bouts in the examination halls) Under my scrutiny I notice: Eyes doing a 360 in their sockets Gazes at the freedom beyond the grey door Sights set on the trees outside, as their papers remain blank A face intently dramatic with exam fever despite the fact that the face will be visible again the next time the exam happens The wandering eye continues to wander And the women fall under its scrutiny A pair of eyes that cannot be even bothered to acknowledge the supervisor while another attempts to steal a gaze at the nearest answer sheet A myriad eyes that focus intently on the desk as they attempt to write their futures.