If I Were A Man! (My most famous poem)

To be a man, first of all, I would not desire
For it’s the woman after all, who sets the world on fire.
But if I were to be a man, what would I do?
Obviously much more than make a hullabaloo.

I’d stop complaining about the men in power,
And start aiming at the bottom of the political tower.
Instead of forever harping about my wife,
I’d find solutions to end the long strife.

Other couch potatoes would have lazed in front of the telly,
But I, I would have helped with the supper and jelly.
The garbage bin would be cleared without a frown,
My perfectly arranged shelves - surely nagging it would drown.

The children would find their father briskly ironing his pants,
With an eye on the cricket stadium packed with fans.
At night I’d take turns to tell stories galore,
Of knights and princesses and wizards of yore.

At work you’d find me sympathising with a worker,
Whose life story is a sure tear jerker.
You’d find me at the desk from nine to five,
Not constantly at the coffee machine, like bees to a hive.

From the office secretary you’d definitely not hear
How I made a pass with an unmistakeable leer;
And you’d have heard the boss commend me the other day
For handling a tough problem in the best possible way.

At the Jones’ party I might have had a drink
But surely you wouldn’t have found me on fours, quite pink.
The Shahs next door give us some home grown lime,
Because I cut the hedge promptly, in time.

But such dreams are meant for only those in heaven,
Because men I know, will never be like women!

- Tina Jose