Today’s blog entry is about a woman I never got a chance to meet. I wish I had been able to meet her more than anything coz’ whenever I go through a difficult period (like right now) I realize that if she had been by my side, things would have been so much easier. Don’t think too far – I’m just thinking about my grandma, my mom’s mom, the woman who died before I had a chance to be born.
My grandma was a very special person. In our times we would have called her a genius, but in her times women were never allowed to study nor do anything progressive. Mom tells me how my grandma received an award from no less than the king of Travancore for excelling in academics. This would be like receiving an award from the president of India, and how often does that happen? But she was forced into marriage with grandpa in her 12th year I believe.
Life with my grandpa was tough coz’ he had had a terrible childhood. And no he wasn’t educated. But grandma was a saint and pulled through. She even got my uncouth grandpa to turn over a new leaf.
My grandma was not only capable of achieving wonders. She was one of the kindest people around. Mom often tells me how while going to church if a beggar on the way asked her for clothes she would take off the ‘kowni’ she was wearing (a dupatta like thing that women used to wear then) and hand it over. Grandma never owned more than 1 sari coz’ every time she got a new one she would hand over the old one to some poor person who came along. Looking at my cupboard stacked to overflowing with clothes I wonder how selfish I can be.
Another thing that grandma used to do was read a lot. In the days of kerosene lamps she would spend the little time she got for herself reading. But the poor lighting had its effects and she ended up with poor eyesight quite early. Eventually people like my mom would have to sit and read to her. I guess her love of reading is one thing that has been passed on to me and my elder brother coz’ we seemed to have raked up quite a collection, so much that there’s no place left to store them now at both our homes!
My grandma was a real beauty queen too. Even when she died in her 63rd year, she had thick hair right up to her knees. And in her younger days, I’m sure if the boys today had seen her, they would have let out quite a few wolf whistles. She was a damn hot babe then! If she hadn’t been so pious, she would have easily landed in trouble.
That’s another thing about grandma. She was one heck of a believer in god. All the reading that I told you she did? Well she read only books on the lives of saints. She read them countless times. No wonder she was so saintly!
And the amount of good advice she passed on to her children was immeasurable. My mom still quotes her once in a while when telling off me or my brothers. But it is quite sensible though. And grandma never screamed or raved. She would put it across quite gently. Never a harsh word would you hear from her. She always told mom that words once dropped from the mouth can never be picked up again, so they should be used very carefully (this is a literal translation).
Every time I hear Mariah Carey’s song “Bye Bye” I realize what a loss it has been that I could never even see my grandma even once. A grandma like her is like Halley’s Comet – they appear only once in a century. Mom was lucky to have had her. Even though I see grandma in mom, I wish she was still around coz there are things only a grandma can do and knowing that she existed makes it harder for me coz she would have been the perfect person to have around especially in my growing years. I wish I could meet her just once so I would know what a saint is like, coz I know she really is up there with the saints. I miss you grandma.
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