Call Centre's Circus

Come to Citiphones one and all
Experiences galore in every call
The costume party's on this Friday
provided no nagging customers all day.
You''ll hear of a customer who called in to say
"I thought my accounts were closed today"
because he saw on his statement received
'Closing balance' - what a weed!
There'll be customers calling you on April 4
"My card hasn't reached, please tell me more."
Then they'll realize in the blink of an eye
the card says '04/04' - my o my!
There'll be Italians, Spaniards, French, Japanese,
but you'll soon learn to grapple with ease.
Whining old ladies, snappy gentlemen,
watch agents' faces slowly sadden.
Marked improvement in performance they say
- on the flip side there's a cut in pay.
Newcomers on the floor we have seen,
adieu to old buddies, on it we're not keen.
Someday in Chennai Citiphones may be gone
but till then -

Come to Citiphones one and all
Experiences galore in every call.

(This poem was probably the first to display my sarcastic vein and was written while I worked with the inbound call centre for Citibank's UK clients, debit card and accounting division (2003-4). The poem was written as part of a poetry competition organised by one of the teams as part of its activities. The costume party is a reference to the end of a month-long celebrations by the company. The references are to actual experiences on the floor.)

Daughter-in-law

Finally! they will say
when I tell them:
after one whole year
you have finally finished
that gas cylinder.
We were wondering when you would do it.
Don't you even cook anything?
Or do you always buy your food?
No wonder you have put on such weight.
But now that it is over
we can give you a new one.
You better finish this in 3 months time.
What? Doesn't matter if you have
a microwave or an induction cooker.
Who uses them to cook anyway!
Cooking must be done the old-fashioned way
on a gas stove
with heavy pots and pans.
Too much oil you say?
Use olive oil - no health problems.
O that research must be by some Indian people
who haven't been acknowledged;
Sesame oil & coconut oil will cause cholesterol
even if you say that it doesn't cause heart attack.
Of course I know many people who died of cholesterol!
Better to stick to the olive oil
that Western countries promote.
Never mind if its too expensive for you.
Use sunflower oil then.
Forget the research. I know best.
You are no longer part of your parents family.
So don't ask them or go stay with them
even if you are nothing in our house.
We insist on ruling over your life
daughter-in-law.

(This poem, a dramatic monologue of sorts, is obviously highly exaggerated, but certainly with grounds in real life as it is based on the experiences of women friends and people I read about.)

Making sense

In a world driven by sense & sensibilities

where speed and accuracy count

to the last nanosecond,

it struck me

that a bird might in fact

have more civic sense than people,

when I noticed at the railway station,

waiting for my morning train,

a crow pick up from the tracks

a discarded, crisp, paper cup

in the hopes of a quick breakfast,

and sitting on the bridge

realizing that there was little hope of his free coffee,

swiftly flew back

and deposited it where it had been found,

while the office goer on the next platform 

dredged his cup

and threw it on the nearest track,

as the train approached.

(Photo : Jain Cyriac Babu)

Farewell my Friend

When I saw your casket lowered into the earth
I realized that I would no more
see that lovely smile that would light up a dozen faces
hear that voice that comforted so many
feel that joie-de-vivre that pushed many a face forward
know that if I called your mobile I would never again have a friend waiting there.
Though they will never compensate your presence
I have the memories of my cherished friend
which I will hold close to my heart
and relive every time I want to be with you again.
I pray you find that elusive peace and happiness
in your new home.
Peace my friend.

Eulogy for Reena Chacko

Last night many of us may have heard the shocking news of the demise of a former colleague and beloved friend of mine Reena. Her accidental death has left many of us unable to believe the news and some of us in tears.
Reena was indeed a good friend to those of us who knew her. It is terribly hard to visualize that we will no longer hear that chirpy laugh or be unable to see once more that vivacious, fun, open-minded, sweet young woman. She always lauded creativity and enjoyed a stimulating intellectual discussion. I know we clicked the instant that we met up when I first stepped into the portals of my alma mater as a teacher. Reena always expressed her desire to sit in one of my more creative classes and now that will never happen.
Even now, if I listen closely, can hear her voice in my head affectionately calling me. Reena, you are no more and it saddens me that I will never have a chance to hug you or see your smile again.
I miss you very much but I will take heart in the fact that you have moved on to a better place where I hope to someday meet you and seriously thrash you for leaving so soon! You will always hold a special place with me.